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I Am Not Trapped

from Eyes To See by Paul Marcus

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about

I wrote this in the performance hall of Albuquerque Academy (see the photo in the banner on my artist page) the day after Donald Trump was elected. Many of my colleagues and our students were sad and depressed, some of them wearing black, speaking of dark days to come. I was worried as well, but wanted to find a way to feel hopeful, and came to the conclusion, "I Am Not Trapped". I can do my little part to "brighten the corner wherever I may be", even in the face of challenges I faced with potentially conflictual conversations. Lyrics inspired in part by the poetic prose of Dean Koontz. Thank you, Dean! You are a brilliant author. Enjoy, all!

lyrics

Well all you cynics would have me believe
That any moment of goodness and peace
Is just there to keep me believing
In something that could never be

You say all we can do is hunker down
Lick our wounds
On this sad day in history

Well I won’t let you reduce me to
How the story’s gone so far
Some folks spend their whole lives
Covering their scars
I’m gonna carry mine with me
To the mountaintop
As I reach for the stars

I for one
I am not trapped
Long as somehow I hold on to my humanity
And find the strength to push back
I for one
I am not trapped
Just because I’ve lost way more battles
Than I’ve won that don’t define who I am

Well my dear pessimistic friend
Losing the battle with your bitterness
I get it you don't want to get your hopes up
Only to be disappointed again
And you tell me it's a forgone conclusion
Hatred always trumps love in the end

Well I won’t let you reduce me to
How the story’s gone so far
Some folks spend their whole lives
Covering their scars
I’m gonna carry mine with me
To the mountaintops
As I reach for the stars

I for one
I am not trapped
Long as somehow I hold on to my humanity
And find the strength to push back
I for one
I am not trapped
Just because I’ve lost way more battles than I’ve won
That don’t define who I am

Who knows
Maybe it’s in doing
The smallest act of kindness for someone
I'll know what it’s like to be free
Yeah lately I’ve been thinking
As long as I can brighten
The corner wherever I may be

I for one
I am not trapped
Long as somehow I hold on to my humanity
And a few friends to help me push back
I for one
I am not trapped
Just because I’ve been told a lifetime full of lies
That don’t define who I am

I for one
I am not trapped
Long as somehow I hold on to my humanity
And find the strength to push back
I for one
I am not trapped
Just because I’ve lost way more battles than I've won
That don’t define who I am
I am not trapped

credits

from Eyes To See, released July 4, 2021

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Paul Marcus Albuquerque, New Mexico

For over four decades, Paul has devoted his life to searching for meaning, faith and identity as a rock singer-songwriter and psychotherapist.
Marcus has played Madison Square Garden, embraced synth pop in its infancy, and wrote with indie rock bands and singer-songwriter icons. Now, Marcus is enjoying a rebirth of sorts inspired by a renewed passion for connecting with others through his music. ... more

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